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Dear Emma

Notes from your father...

April 20th, 2017

4/20/2017

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Emma Broady Cifuentes was born on January 4, 2017.  She was a tad under 5 pounds; a puny little thing. Since then, she's packed on over 8 pounds and has grown around 24 inches tall.  As for me, well, I feel like my world rapidly shrunk down to her numbers.  She is the only thing I think about.  

The other day, Emma fell asleep for the first time in my arms.  The moment felt better than I could have ever imagined it.  It felt like I had finally graduated into parenthood, like I had officially become a dad.  I wanted to record that moment forever, and subconsciously that is exactly what I did.  I replayed the moment over and over in my head, so that one day, 15 or so years down the road, I can remember my first moment holding a sleeping Emma in my arms to remind me how important a father's role is to their children; and how special it is to hold your baby girl in your arms.  
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You Changed Me Before I Could Make a Change...  

11/6/2016

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I will be the first to admit I live a pretty damn lucky life.  I have parents who love me, who believe in me, who gave me a good education, and who taught me the principles of hard work, respect, cultural awareness, and human dignity.  I grew up seeing and experiencing the world in very different ways than most Americans.  When I became older and started a career in international development, I felt I was merely extending my childhood activities into professional responsibilities.  This gave me the opportunity to have more control over how I see, smell, feel, hear, and experience the world.  

Since learning of Emma's soon-to-be arrival my perspective on life has changed, and it's changed fast!  My need for adrenaline-packed adventures have shifted from how many border crossings I do in a year to finding long-term stability; I've reached a point where I want and need constancy.  

​There is no doubt that the awesome responsibilities of being an expecting father has thrown me upside down, inside out, and around and around in circles.  In fact, I've come to realize and take responsibility for the fact that I can sometimes be egotistical, overly confident, selfish, and self-righteous. Coming to terms with this on my own has not been easy.  

I want Emma to feel loved.  I want her to be confident.  I want her to stand up for what she believes in and to know the difference between wrong and right.  I want her to know when it is okay to be selfish, but that magnanimity is a rare trait to be proud of.  I can't teach this to Emma if I am not comfortable myself with my own faults.  Emma will need a male a role model in her life to set the standard for what she is deserving of for her future.  And that role model starts with me. 
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The First Day of the Rest of My Life

10/19/2016

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​Nothing and no one can ever prepare you to hear the news that you are going to be a father.  It's quite shocking actually.  But as soon as the news sinks in and you realize there are awesome responsibilities that lay ahead, the shock quickly transforms into a realization that life isn't about only you anymore.  

My life changed forever on June 12, 2016 during a breakfast at Tertulianos restaurant in Quetzaltenango, Guatemala.  I learned that I was going to be a father to what I now know will be a baby girl.  Her name is Emma and she hit the reset button on my life.  
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